A Thing Called 'Love' : A KyoxTohru FanFic
by x.chaotic.neutral
Summary: Maybe Shigure's right. Maybe I AM emotionally-challenged. Or maybe it's this alien thing called 'love'... -- In Kyon-Kyon's perspective -- KyoxTohru, as requested by Unknown.x.Stranger; she'd better appreciate this! -likes YukiRu better- xD -- R&R?
1. Black and White

"Itadakimasu!" Shigure chirped, in his annoying little happy voice. He stared down at the meal Tohru had prepared for us, beaming. "Oh, Tohru-kun, I don't know where we'd be without you!"

"Our wallets would disown us for the amount of take-away that we'd have to order. Either that or we live off rice balls…" I muttered, slouching forward with my elbows on the table.

"Kyo-kun, you're so serious," Shigure whined at me. "Lighten up!"

"Who's to say I'm not lightening up?" I scowled in his direction.

Shigure sighed. Yuki shook his head in what seemed like disappointment. Conceited bastards.

"U-Um… I hope you all enjoy the food!" Tohru bowed, trying to change the subject. I chuckled once. _Same old Tohru_…

Yuki began to eat his bowl of rice. "You're a wonderful cook, Tohru."

I felt some weird feeling in my stomach when I saw a blush creep over Tohru's cheeks. She smiled and said, "I try my best!"

And she just stayed that way for what seemed to me like an eternity; she smiled at him, he smiled back. What the hell? Why am I getting ticked off with that? Why _should _I? It's not like she could ever feel that way about me, so why even _bother_ hoping in the first place?

She's much better off with a '_princely_' figure like _him_. That guy does _not _know how lucky he is. He has _everything_, and I hate that. I hate it that he doesn't even acknowledge her that way. I _do_, but it's my _duty_, if you will, not to show it. It's _obvious_ she loves _him_.

Despite my trying to convince myself that I was being stuck-up and arrogant, I still got more and more pissed at _him_. That _damn rat_.

The angrier I got, the less I felt like eating the meal that Tohru had worked so hard over. I felt the guilt wash over me, but I really just couldn't stomach it. I could feel myself glaring at Yuki, and when I got his attention, he shot me a questioning look and looked back to his food.

"K-Kyo-kun… Are you okay? You're not eating anything… Don't you like it? I could fix something else for you?" Tohru looked at me with genuine concern in her eyes.

I pushed myself up from the table with my palms and got to my feet. "I'm just not hungry. Sorry, Tohru…" I headed toward the stairs. It's not like my leaving was a rare occurrence when I was stuck in a house with a lazy, perverted novelist and a damn rat. Tohru would understand… Right?

She smiled at me. "That's all right, Kyo-kun. I'll save some for you, if you'd like?"

I glanced back at her with my hand on the banister. Her smile made me return one. "Sure, thanks," and I disappeared to my room.

_-x-_

When I slid the door open, I collapsed onto my bed and stared at the ceiling. Thoughts concerning Tohru filled my mind. Would it be right to just let go of my emotions and just move on? Who cares if I die alone?

But she…

_No_. There is _no _way she'd think like that. I mean, it's Tohru we're talking about here. It's obvious when she likes someone. And that someone happens to be one of the people I hate most.

Sure, he's better than me. Sure, he has her exactly where _I_ would want her. Sure, he's not blind enough not to realize that she likes him. But does he even _act_ like he cares? Huh, like hell he does.

The desire for her wouldn't leave me alone. Maybe I should just hide my feelings and look the other way. She'd be happier with him. He wouldn't be able to hurt her like I could. _If I were to take off these beads…_ Oh, God. "I don't want to even _think _about that," I muttered as I stared at the black-and-white bracelet clinging to my wrist.

I put my hands behind my head, closed my eyes and let my mind wander.

Strangely, thought I knew it would never exist in reality, my mind took me to thinking how it would be like if she _did_ love me.

_I'd come home after a long day, to a smiling Tohru. "Welcome home, Kyo-kun!" She'd call to me, happily. I'd smile back and hold her in my arms, whispering, "I'm back… I love you,"_

"_I love you too."_

WAIT. When did _I _start to get _sappy_?! I grimaced. That is _so _not my cup of tea…

But Tohru…

_Argh! Shut up already! It _WON'T _happen!_

Besides, if that were true, then when I hugged her I would have turned into a god damn orange kitty… Not a pretty sight, I can tell ya…

_-x-_

After thinking about various subjects for a long expanse of time, I finally decided to keep my eyes shut and sleep earlier than usual. I hadn't eaten dinner but I wasn't hungry so it didn't seem to matter any more.

It took me a while to drift into sleep, but when I finally did, I wished I hadn't.

I didn't have a dream. I had a nightmare. Probably the worst I've ever had. Why?

Because it involved hurting the one I loved the most.

_-x-_

Somehow, I'd lost my juzu beads. Well, not _lost_ exactly… I just wasn't _wearing_ them. I guess you could call it lost if I didn't exactly know where they were.

But I was running as fast as I could, _away_ from _her_. Then she was there behind me, chasing after me. She looked hurt and had were open wounds that I probably created… I was wondering whether, at this point, if I'd ever be able to wake again. It already seemed too much to bear to see her like that.

Little did I know, the nightmare only got worse.

Why?

Why did it have to be her?

Why was she chasing after me?

I looked back at her. She was crying.

And then she stopped running.

She collapsed on the floor.

I ran back to her. And when I held her, my clawed hands… I didn't mean to, but I… She… She wasn't breathing anymore…

_-x-_

I shot upright, panting into the darkness. I could feel the beads of sweat sliding down my forehead.

My door slid open as the light from the hallway flooded into my dark room. A worried Tohru peered at me with concern from the doorframe. "K-Kyo-kun… Are you okay? I heard…" She trailed off as her troubled eyes were drawn to me. She walked over to the edge of my bed and pressed the back of her hand to my forehead.

"D-Do you have a fever, Kyo-kun?"

I sighed and pulled her close to me. I felt myself turn into the spirit of the Cat. Damn that stupid Zodiac Curse. But Tohru still clung to me all the same.

"T-Tohru… I'm so sorry… I thought I'd…" I couldn't finish the sentence. She sighed and held me tighter, as if she knew what I'd thought I'd done to her.

"It's all right, Kyo-kun," she whispered to me, like a mother would.

I relaxed a little in her arms. Maybe she was right. Maybe it _would _be all right. Maybe, just _maybe_…


	2. Yeah, I Should Be So Lucky

When I woke, Tohru was sleeping beside me, but I was the only one under the duvet. I wondered why that was for a moment, but then I realized I'd changed back to my human form after last night.

I quickly got dressed and looked at her. She was so peaceful when she was asleep. I could have stared at her forever, but I figured she'd wake up soon enough and think I was a stalker or something. Like that time I tried to walked her home. She really hit me with all her force with that book bag of hers… Ouch. I rubbed my cheek at the memory.

I pulled the duvet over her and left the room. Shigure was standing the hallway, looking – more like staring – at me expectantly.

"What?" I grunted.

"What did you do to Tohru-kun, you… you FIEND?!"

I head-palmed. Oh, God. Shigure is so simple-minded. What an idiot. "You're such a pervert. She came to check on me last night and crashed in there. Now go."

"Kyo-kun… If I find out you've done anything to Tohru-kun, I shall unleash brutal force!"

I rolled my eyes as I walked away. "Yeah, that's rich, coming from the 27-year-old-man who's got it going for _high-school girls_."

"Low blow…" Shigure shook his head in defeat.

"But we all know it's true, so shut up about Tohru already, hentai-san."

Shigure sighed and walked the opposite way, so we had our backs to each other. "Kyonkitchi's only jealous because he's emotionally-challenged…" Shigure murmured, supposedly to himself.

"I heard that!" I yelled back at him and raised my fist, but he'd already disappeared into another room.

Groaning, I made my way to the roof of Shigure's house. I decided it would be a good place to chew over my feelings for Tohru. Not that there was really all that much to chew over. I guess I just needed a place to be alone.

I sat upon the tiles of the roof, staring down at the landscape before me. The sky was beautifully clear and blue. I light breeze ruffled my hair and I instantly felt more relaxed.

I stayed on the roof for a while, jumping to conclusions which I knew were impossible. However, I was too caught up in my own thoughts to notice that damn rat approach me. _Damn it._

"What do you want?" I grumbled.

He stood next to me, and he looked down at me. "I see your mood hasn't changed…" He sighed.

"Look, just get to the point and leave, will you?"

"You want me to get to the point? Fine, here it is: You love Tohru, right?"

I glared at him from the corner of my eye. "What's it to ya', rat boy?" How I wish I were him…

"Good, then your admittance makes this all the more easier. Kyo, she loves _you_, not _me_."

I finally looked at him incredulously. "What the hell are you babblin' about?"

Yuki shook his head and folded his arms. "Do I need to spell it out for you, _baka neko_? You. Love. Tohru…Tohru. Loves. You. Get it?"

I balled my hands into fists. "ARGH! STOP SCREWING WITH MY HEAD, YOU DAMN RAT!"

Yuki raised his palm to his forehead. "Honestly, I don't think you could _get_ any denser!"

"The hell…?! That's rich coming from you, pretty boy! You wanna settle this with a fight or what?"

"I would say 'or what', but from your expression it looks like you've got your heart set on this. Try not to bore me."

"Stuck-up annoying little bastard…" I muttered, getting to my feet and jumping lightly from the edge of the rooftop. Yuki followed me, his feet soundless against the grass.

"'Aight! Bring it on!" I got myself ready into a fighting stance, glowering in his direction.

Yuki dusted his sleeves off and shrugged carelessly. "Let's get this over with already." He stood there with his arms crossed as if he wasn't serious about taking me on as an opponent.

"You asked for it!" I lunged forward and aimed a full-force punch at his stomach, but Yuki dodged it swiftly. I knew this would happen, and suddenly kicked him.

But… I missed.

He dodged again so that he stood behind me and planted his foot in the small of my back.

My face came in contact with a hard rock. Not a nice experience. I lay there on the floor when I can hear Shigure's annoying chirpy voice again.

"Try not to break my house again, boys… Or anything in it…"

"The fight's already over, Shigure," Yuki scoffed. He climbed over me and walked toward the door. As he opened it, he leaned back and stared at me. I got myself into a sitting position and raised an eyebrow at him. "What is it now?"

He sighed again shook his head once. "It's obvious you haven't taken anything I've said on-board, but I guess I didn't really expect anything less from you, baka neko."

"If that's all you've got to say to me, then go. You're really pissing me off."

"I try to make your social status increase and this is the thanks you give me?" He sighed again. "Really, I don't know why I bother."

"Neither do I. Now beat it."

"Look, Kyo. You can believe what you want, but all I'm gonna say is that everything I've told you is the truth. Your loss if you think I'm wrong," he shrugged and shut the door behind him.

I wrapped my arms around myself and sat cross-legged. Everything ached after being kicked, full-pelt, into a giant rock, but I suppose _I _was the one asking for it.

I didn't know what to think anymore.

That damn rat just loved to toy with me.

But there was that small, slight chance that he was really telling the truth…

What do you do if you've had trust broken before?

What should you believe in?

_Who _should you believe in?

Ugh, life sucks…

I saw it in a book once, some girl at school was reading it. I can't say I disagree with the guy who said it.

_**Life sucks, and then you die.**_

_**Yeah, I should be so lucky… **_**–**_** Jacob Black**_

I struggled to my feet and leaned against a tree, staring up at the empty sky.

You know, maybe Shigure _was _right.

Maybe I _am _emotionally challenged.

Or maybe it's this alien thing, called _'love'_…


	3. Lie To Me

_A/N: Hello~ ^^ I just wanted to apologize for the shortness of this chapter; the next will definitely be longer!_

_And on with the fan-fic~ c: _

Clinging to my sore shoulder after the fight between Yuki and me, I made my way back to my room. I'd forgotten Tohru was still there until I opened the door and saw her curled up on the side of my bed. I'll bet Shigure wasn't best pleased that I must've kept Tohru awake all night – meaning no amazing, hand-cooked breakfast for him…

I smiled at her when I saw her turn over. She slept like a baby.

Grabbing a change of clothes and a towel, I left her sleep and went to take a shower, since I was still aching all over.

_-x-_

When I headed back to the room, I heard Tohru's voice. "I wonder if he thinks I went too far last night?" she sighed. "Maybe I shouldn't have come to see him… He probably would've—"

I opened the door with one hand and slid my arm through the sleeve of my t-shirt with the other. She looked at me when she saw the door slide open. "A-Ah! Kyo-kun! I'm sorry, but I…!" She seemed to flush with embarrassment as a pulled my shirt over my head.

I chuckled and brushed my sleeves off. The shirt was creased, but I couldn't have cared less. "Sorry, I forgot you were here. But what are you apologizing for?"

"Ah… Uh…" She trailed off helplessly, searching for an answer but finding none. I smiled. She's one of the few people who I can open up to _without _losing my temper. Yeah, I know. Amazing, right?

She stood there with a confused expression, not knowing what to say. It was then that I noticed she was still dressed in her pyjamas. She then followed my stare and noticed her clothing too.

"Oh, I'd… I'd better go change…" Tohru stuttered and brushed past my shoulder as she walked toward the door. _How I wanted her to stay with me…_

Before I realized what I was doing, I grabbed hold of her hand. I heard her gasp in surprise and she turned to look at me with incredulous eyes.

"K-Kyo-kun…?" She questioned, bringing me back to my senses.

I stared wide-eyed at our intertwined hands, suddenly letting go of hers. I let my hand fall to my side as I spoke.

"S-Sorry…" I muttered, trying to find a reason why I would stop her. I threw a glance over my shoulder and my eyes settled on a piece of blue material.

"I didn't mean to startle you, but uh… You left your ribbon over there," I tried to cover it up as casually as I could – which, much to my distaste, didn't work out so well – as I reached over and placed the ribbon in her hand.

"O-Oh… Thank you," Tohru murmured quietly in reply as she turned to leave. God, I was such a bad liar. And she knew it.


	4. Huh, So Much For A Punch Line

I could hear Tohru's soft voice as I passed her room on my way downstairs. She was talking to herself, and thought I knew it was wrong to eavesdrop on her like this, I couldn't help myself. Everything about her seemed to draw me in. Her personality, her smile, her voice…

"Perhaps I should just ignore these feeling welling up inside me. It's obvious he doesn't feel that way about me, too." I heard her sigh.

_Argh! Damn _that Yuki! He's so full of himself, and he doesn't care about the way he's making Tohru feel! I felt the anger intensify inside me as I made my hands into fists and pounded my way down the stairs.

My hand curled around the strap of my backpack and I hurled it over my shoulder in one fluid movement, cursing the damn rat every step of the way. How could he even stomach the _thought _of making her feel that way?!

I rushed out of the door and stormed towards the direction of my high school without a backward glance.

_-x-_

The day passed slowly, a complete drag. I often wondered why I even bothered staying in the stuffy classrooms to listen to some old goof drone on about educational crap. I mean, really, what _is_ the point?

There is none.

And it didn't help that Tohru's usually bright and cheerful – yet ditzy – expression was shrouded with a distant, far-off look. It didn't suit her at all, so my attention was easily diverted from the class and focussed on her.

She never moved, never spoke, never smiled…Just stared off into space.

Uotani and Hanajima had also seemed to pick up on her remote aura, much to their distaste. _At least this time it's all that damn Yuki's fault, so they have no reason to blame me_, I thought with a grunt.

_-x-_

When the bell finally went for the day's end, everyone piled out of the classroom quickly, eager to escape the world of schooling. Soon, the six of us – Hanajima, Uotani, Tohru, that damn rat and I, along with some tough-looking guy who I've never seen before – were the only ones left in the otherwise deserted room. It seemed even our sensei wanted to escape.

"Tohru…" Hanajima began.

"Who are and what have you done with the Tohru we all know and love?" demanded Uotani, staring Tohru down.

She only shrugged indifferently in reply. "I _am _Tohru, you guys. You know… _me_." Then she forced a smile. For that moment, she looked like her old self again, but returned to the isolated wall she had been before.

"DAMMIT TOHRU!" Uotani wailed in exasperation. I watched from the other side of the room as I packed away my books. Yuki seemed puzzled by it all.

"Maybe it's because of one of _them_," Hanajima accused in her monotone voice, eyes only on me. I knew this would happen. Why _me_?

I scoffed at her accusation and shrugged. "Don't look at me. The little prince over there is the one you should be after, Saki."

Yuki stared at me with wide eyes, in bewilderment. "Excuse me? Do you know something I don't, _baka neko_?"

"You know full well what's going on here, you damn rat!"

"I do?"

"Of _course_ you do! You know exactly what's going on here, but you have too much fun _toying_ with me to admit the _truth_!"

Both Yuki and Uotani held their foreheads in their hands. "You never learn, do you?" Yuki muttered.

"Will someone _please_ just tell us what the _hell_ is going on here?!" Uotani almost begged.

"This seems interesting," murmured Hanajima. Tohru said nothing and watched.

"This guy—" I pointed accusingly at Yuki before continuing, "—knows exactly how much she—" my finger moved in line of Tohru instead, "—loves him, and yet he ignores it all and lets her suffer!"

Tohru's eyes widened this time. "Me… and Sohma-kun…? Kyo-kun, what are you talking about?"

"I _said—WAIT. _Does that mean you don't love him?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"I… I couldn't love Sohma-kun that way…" Her eyes turned to him. "Gomen-nasai," she bowed.

Yuki shook his head. "No, not at all. I can hardly blame you," he chuckled.

Tohru looked flustered. "N-No! I didn't mean it like that! I'm sorry if I offended you!" Again, she bowed toward him.

Yuki smiled, "Of course you didn't, Honda-san. Don't worry."

"Y-Yes, Sohma-kun…" She returned the smile.

"Aw, that was cute," Uotani smiled for a split second at Tohru, before turning to me with a cold stare. "Now what the hell was all that crap you said about?" She raised an eyebrow sceptically.

"I…" I thought for a moment, but not a single decent reply came to me. "I… don't know…" I sighed. "I guess I got mixed up…"

"Hell yeah you did. Now, Tohru, what's the matter?" She and Hanajima fussed over Tohru while Yuki fixed his eyes on me, but I took no notice. I was too caught up in my own thoughts.

"So… Who were you talking about this morning?"

Tohru looked at me questioningly. "This morning…?"

"Yeah, I walked past your room and you said something about a guy…"

She almost gasped. "Uh… It was… It was nothing! I was just copying a line from a movie! Yeah, that's it!"

Okay, so she's an even worse liar than I am… Didn't I already know that anyway?

Yuki sighed. I translated that as, _best not to ask. She obviously doesn't want to talk about it._

_Yeah, state the obvious, rat boy… _You could see it in her eyes that she was touchy about the subject, should it come up again.

We all picked up our bags and were about to leave when the guy – who I'd completely forgotten was still in the room – spoke to Tohru. "Um, Honda-san, may I speak to you for a moment?"  
Tohru spun around to look at him in confusion, but nodded. We all left them in the room, alone.

"Orange-top!" Uotani yelled at me.

"What?" I muttered.

"Run to the cafeteria and get a glass!"

"What the hell fo—?"

"JUST DO IT!"

"Okay, okay, I'm going!" I raced down the corridors in case she got angry and wanted to use violence. That wouldn't be pretty…

I ran in, grabbed a few glasses and ran back to where the others stood, ears pressed against the door. "Makes sense…" I muttered to myself.

I handed the glasses out and we all pressed them to the door, trying to hear the conversation taking place inside.

"_Well, I know I've never really spoken to you before, but maybe this could be our chance to get to know each other better!"_

"_Huh? What are you say—!"_

I glanced up at the window in the centre of the door when Tohru stopped talking in mid-sentence.

The sight made me feel sick to my stomach. His lips were pressed to hers… And I didn't even know the guy's name! Tohru's face was quickly turning scarlet.

The others saw it too. They all groaned in distaste, and I could tell Uotani and I were both trying to contain our anger. Then he pulled away from Tohru and we returned to the glasses.

"_Tohru, will you go out with me…?"_

Now, where's the punch-line when you need it?


	5. My Everything

_**A/N : Sorry for the long wait~. I've had writer's block on this story for a while now, as well as exams to complete and study for. xD;**_

_**Also, apologies that this is a rather short chapter; I wanted to save the action for the next one. x3**_

_**And on with the chapter~.**_

_-x-_

So who would have guessed it? We found out the next day that she'd said yes to that annoying little brat. Whether that was a heart-felt acceptance or not, I'll probably never know. But I doubted it.

I mean, honestly, who are we talking about here?

Right, Tohru Honda.

The girl who's too nice for her own good, so much so that she'll do pretty much anything upon request – within reason – whether she likes it or not. My guess is that she didn't have the heart to turn him down.

It figures.

"So, what's his name?" Uotani asked Yuki, trying to keep her cool.

"Nakaoji Yamamoto. He recently moved here due to family issues and is in our class." Yuki replied, obviously pissed at the guy.

"What, do you have a record on him or something?" I muttered. "Kid must be quiet. I've never seen him before in my life."

"Or maybe you've just never taken notice of some of the other students," came the reply. "As for me, it's not really something I can dismiss easily, being on the school council and all."

"Yeah, whatever," I dropped the subject. The thought of this Nakaoji guy made me feel sick.

Then Tohru came bounding out of the class room as we were all walking down the corridor. "S-Sorry to keep you all waiting! I couldn't find one of my books. Turns out it was in my bag anyway," she smiled awkwardly. I could tell something was up by the overly-cheery tone of her voice, but fought the urge to bring the subject to light in front of the others. I'm pretty sure they all felt the same way, especially what with Hanajima and her electric waves of death… I shuddered.

"Don't worry about it," Uotani put on a fake smile to keep Tohru happy. Then she noticed something. "Hey, Tohru… Why're your eyes all red like that?"

"Huh?" I spun around to face her, and saw Arisa was right. It looked as though Tohru had been—

"Have you been crying, Honda-san?" Yuki asked, concern washing over his face.

Tohru blinked. "H-Huh? Um, no! No, of course not!" She smiled unconvincingly.

"_Right_," I grunted. "And I'm _actually_ Johnny Depp in disguise."

Yuki nudged me in the ribs.

I winced at the dull pain. "OW! _Damn it_, you rat!"

"Please don't fight, you two!" Tohru pleaded.

The two of us dropped our hands to our sides and muttered and apology like a pair of little kids who just got caught drawing on the walls with wax crayons.

"Hey, Tohru," a smirk was pasted on that damn guy's face. He put his arm around Tohru's waist, making her both stiffen and blush in surprise.

"N-Nakaoji-kun!" She exclaimed.

Great. Just, great.

I ceased the curses spinning around my mind for a moment and paused to think – Tohru's eyes were still puffy and red from when she must've been crying. "Nakaoji." After saying his name with a monotone voice, I looked at him with narrowed eyes.

He furrowed his brow in slight distaste at being referred to without an honorific. Oh, now I _really_ felt rebellious…For the sake of my sanity, note the sarcasm there.

"What is it, short-stack?" Nakaoji said, looking like he was holding back a glare.

I scoffed at his petty insult. "Short-stack? Hell, you're taller than me by one measly inch, if that. Don't get cocky. I'll knock your lights out – without mercy, bastard."

Now it looked like he was really getting a kick out of this. Damn that smug son of a—

"You want to battle it out right here, right now? Or are you shaking in your _petit _little boots, sweetheart?"

The sight of the stupid smirk on his stupid twisted little face made my blood boil.

Before I knew it, I'd balled my hands into fists and was fighting back the urge to sucker-punch him. Besides, I needed no explanation. Even a blind man could see that he was the one who made an innocent girl – _my _innocent girl – sniffle and cry. And I hated that he seemed to enjoy both my anger and Tohru's sadness, for whatever reason she may be that way.

I could feel my nails digging into my fists before I raised it to my head and was about to flatten Nakaoji's jaw, when something held me back. Yuki's arms imprisoned mine, giving me no chance of escape no matter how much I kicked and protested. He muttered darkly in my ear, so low than none of the others could overhear him, "Look at her, Kyo. Look at her face. She doesn't want you to get hurt. You're the only one in her eyes. Don't break her heart even more than it's already shattered."

I relaxed at his words, knowing my efforts to get away were quickly being wasted, when the guilt washed over me. I stole a glance at Tohru, whose face was filled with worry, confusion and hurt.

I knew she didn't love him.

But he had no right to push her around like that.

Then…why do I feel so over-protective of her?

Oh.

That's right.

I love her.

_Me_.

Not some obnoxious freak that thinks he can do what he wants, when he wants.

But, for now, I have to hold back my vengeance.

Not because I want to.

…But because of _her_.

I can't let her down.

She's all I've ever had.

…My _everything_.


End file.
